. . . is it too short?  How can a short story be too short?  You’ve read your story and it has a beginning, middle and an end.   Your character wanted something, at first she couldn’t get it, she worked at her problem, and then she succeeded.  The end. 

But perhaps, just maybe, your story MIGHT be slight.   GASP!  NO!  It’s perfect!

Read it again.  Does your character REACT to a situation that has happened?  If a problem has occurred – – a robbery at the bank.  She’s failed a math test. Do you take time to “slow-down-the-moment” for the exciting or important part of the story?  This will add suspense or emotional depth.

How do you slow it down a bit?  Make your story deeper and not “slight?”  Get into your main character’s head.  What is she thinking?  Feeling?  Get all of her senses going.  Does she break into a sweat?  Start shaking?  Make sure she REACTS to the important things that happen to her.

Writing Prompt:

In a story you are working on, take a highlighter.  Highlight any portion where your character internalizes, or THINKS about her situation.

Take a different color pen or highlighter, and underline or highlight where your character has a PHYSICAL REACTION to what is going on.  What does she or he do?

Next, with another color, mark where your character talks.  Make sure it’s not “empty dialogue.”  But dialogue that your character needs to say to move the story along. 

Finally, read your story aloud.  Now I bet your story is deeper and not slight! 

Congratulations on a successful revision!

I’m reading Richard Peck’s A Season of Gifts which follows the antics of Grandma Dowdel, star of the Newbery winning A Year Down Yonder and the Newbery Honor A Long Way from Chicago.  

If you haven’t read them yet, you’re in for a treat.  Are you an adult who thinks children’s books are just for children?   Tis a pity.  Your loss.  Run, don’t walk to the nearest bookstore or library and get a hold of these to learn all you can about voice, setting, character and great dialogue. 

In chapter two of A Season of Gifts, an “evangelist of the sawdust circuit”  comes to town.  Delmer “Gypsy” Piggott, called Texas Tornado for his style,  could “scare a lot of money out of town.”

People and cars were everywhere.  Some “believers” had rented rooms from Mrs. Dowdel.   But late one night, the main character, twelve-year-old Bob, Mrs. Dowdel’s neighbor, is awakened by noise on her front porch. 

Stuff began to fly off the porch and bounce in her yard.  Suitcases?  Trumpet cases?  More came.  White moths seemed to flutter across the grass, but it might have been sheet music.

I couldn’t see how many people were on the porch. But it was Mrs. Dowdel who barged through them and outside.  She wore a nightgown the size of the revival tent.  Cold moonlight hit her white hair loose in the night breeze.  She held something high and poured from it onto the ground.

“WINE IS A MOCKER, STRONG DRINK IS RAGING,'” she bellowed into the night.  “Proverbs. 20:I.  You could look it up.  I don’t have hard liquor in my house.  It goes, and so do you.” 

She seemed to pour strong drink out on the grass.  Now she hauled off and threw the bottle.  She had an arm on her.  The bottle glinted in moonlight, hit her cobhouse roof, and rolled off.

“Now, now, Mrs. Dowdel,” a voice said, “calm yourself.  ‘A man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry.’ Ecclesiastes. 8:15.”

I’d have known that voice in the fiery pit.  It was the Texas Tornado, Delmer “Gypsy” Piggott. Now I could hear Mother and Dad stirring around in their room. 

My nose was flat to screen wire.  “GET OFF MY PLACE,” Mrs. Dowdel bellowed, “and take these . . . sopranos with you.  Trumpets, strumpets –everybody out.”

More shoe-scuffling came from the porch, and the peck of high heels.  A sob and some squealing.  The gospel quartette milled. 

“You’ve rented your last rooms in this town, you two-faced old goat,” Mrs. Dowdel thundered.  The whole town was wide-awake now.  “Hit the road.”

“Dad-burn it, Mrs. Dowdel,” the Texas Tornado whined, “we done paid you out for the whole week with ready money.  Cash on the barrelhead.”

“I’m about a squat jump away from a loaded Winchester 21,” Mrs. Dowdel replied, “And I’m tetchy as a bull in fly time.”

Note the unique dialogue between the characters, Peck’s vivid verbs, word choices, and use of humor.   With his characterizations in this brief passage, he’s brought these two to life so that we are dying to know more about how Bob will interact with Mrs. Dowdel. 

Writing Prompt: 

Choose two characters of your own.  Give them a strong conflict.  How can they oppose each other?  How will they show this through dialogue?  Action?  How will you show their character through vivid verbs and word choices?

How can you show character in your story or personal narrative?  Through description, the character’s dialogue, thoughts, actions and reactions.  

Here is a good example of description from Karen Cushman’s Matilda Bone.

She shivered, battered by the icy wind. Thin and small, with long yellow braids and large, wary seagreen eyes, she stood, carrying nothing but a bundle with a change of linen – – no Sunday kirtle or surcoat, no poppet or other plaything, nothing of her mother or her father or of the priest who had raised her.

Cushman begins with active verbs and uses vivid details and specific word choices to show the time period and the character’s background. 

In Diane Ackerman’s The Zookeeper’s Wife  the vet comes to life: 

That meant calling the zoo vet, Dr. Lopatzynski, who always arrived on his spluttering motorcycle wearing a leather jacket, big hat with long waving ear flaps, cheeks whisked red by the wind, and prince-nez glasses perched on his nose.”

Again notice the active verbs whisked and perched and the specific type of glasses giving us a life-like picture.

Writing prompt:

Now it’s your turn.  Choose one of your characters and describe him or her.  Use a verb and a physical description, being as specific and as active as possible.

I attended a writing conference this weekend with friends at Asilomar in Monterey, California.  Set across from the rhythmic ocean waves, we walked among the tall aromatic pine trees, and breathed in the fresh smell of rain.  Deer wandered among us, not caring we were close by. 

It’s a place where nature helps you reach your spiritual self.  Whether or not you believe in a higher power, you’ll find your soul here.  Looking for the kernel of your story?  Need to reclaim the silence in your life?  Try changing the scenery of your day-to-day existence.  Even if it is only for an hour or two, take your pen and paper and visit a park, a cafe, or a crowded corner in an airport. 

Take notes about your surroundings.  Or ignore them completely and go into a deeper space. 

At the conference, agent Sarah Davies said, ” The best books teach us more about ourselves than the characters.” 

She suggested writers create larger than life characters with description revealing the character.  “What do the torn jeans tell you about the character?”   And this insightful comment about your character:  The “external of conversation needs to reflect the internal agenda of your character.”  

Author Liza Ketchum talked about finding the voice of your character.  “Voice is the most important metaphor for writing style.”   It’s the sound in your head that continues after you close the book.    She suggests that when you write a scene, end it with a cliffhanger so the next day you’ll begin momentum to inspire your writing day.

Author Gary Schmidt tells writers to get your reader to want to ask, “What happens next?”  This is the ultimate dramatic question.  His talk was so moving everyone gave him a standing ovation.

Author Ellen Klages suggested another way to describe “hook” is the “wow value.” 

Agent Ken Wright says there is a saying among agents about reading a book.  “You cry you buy.” 

What happens when writers get stuck?  What should you do then? 

Gary says, “What happens around you main character?”  Write about that and see what happens.  You may make some interesting discoveries.

Liza takes a shower or a walk.  Ellen goes to a mindless movie and then she’ll begin writing on her hand.  Yuyi Morales looks for an image she loves to motivate her to write.  Author Deborah Underwood goes to an art museum or a concert.  “Be around creativity in another form.”

It’s a rainy day here in Northern California.  Kids have the day off of school.  What to do?  Take out a sheet of paper or write on your computer.  Try your hand at a poem, a story, or a personal story about YOU.    Then enter it in our Young Writers Contest.  (Guidelines at lower right) 

Let’s talk about the poetry category in today’s blog.  

What should I write about? 

What do you like to do?  How do you like to spend your time?  Do you play an instrument?  Enjoy a sport?  Spend time with friends? Shop till you drop?  Turn your passion into print.  Contrary to popular belief, poems do not have to rhyme.  

Print out the poetry tips, also at the right, to help you when you’re working on the second or third draft of  your poem. 

What are you trying to say about your subject?  Be specific.  If you are writing about how you love your car, make sure we know the car so well we can see it and know how it feels to ride in it.  If it’s about your dog, make sure we know her intimately through your choice of words. 

And speaking of words, Cut any and all unnecessary ones.  After all, a poem isn’t just prose put in poetry form.  Every word in a poem must be there for a reason.  If not, cut it out.  (Each line doesn’t even have to be a complete sentence.)

Read your poem out loud.  Does it sound right?  If your poem has a natural “rhythm,” congratulations!  You did your job!

        Besides announcing writing contests and workshops, a reader reminded me that I said I’d write more about our trip to Australia.  Remember to use your own life  in writing too, if you are a student, a teacher, or a writer. 

        The most amazing experience on our trip that we had was on Phillip Island. Located Southeast of Melbourne and North of Tasmania, it’s the home of the famous Penguin Parade, where at dusk, hundreds upon hundreds of little penguins come out from the sea to bed down for the night in their on-land burrows.

       People sit on bleachers on the beach while we wait for the small penguins to arrive. We’ve been told that penguins are creatures of habit. The first time they make their way from the water to their new burrow will be the path they use every single time from then on.

       When the penguins come up from the sea, a few seagulls swoop down and scare them off. They chase them back to the water, but more penguins arrive, enough to make a mass statement against the gulls!

       As the penguins waddle up the beach, several in a group, more and more clusters swim up from the sea. When they reach the bleachers, we observers quietly rise and walk behind our seats to a lighted board walk. There, we watch the penguins closely while they toddle up hill on the sand.

       We’ve been prepped ahead of time by a ranger. Everyone whispers; no photography at all is taken to disturb their natural habitat. All we hear are the ocean waves and now the penguins talking with each other.

       So how do penguins talk anyway? Chirp. Squeak. Mews. Donald-Duck-Quacks. A mixture of all of these sounds. And as they settle into their burrows, they can be heard in the hills. Dots of their white vests show throughout the blackness.

       Penguin sounds. Ocean waves. Only whispers among us.

       Darkness everywhere, with only lights from the fence illuminating the Penguin Parade, the experience feels spiritual. There is something special in the air and we all sense it.

       As I look on in awe, I wonder if we sent warring beings here, would the world have a better chance for peace?

       When it’s time for Bob and me to get back up the hill to meet the tour group at our van, we hike briskly in the same direction as the penguins on the board walk. They keep up to us, stride for wobble.

       At the top of the hill, the ranger announces a penguin must cross over to the other side of the blacktop to his home. She moves us behind a painted white line and she lifts up a gate for the penguin who is patiently waiting his turn to cross.

       With his quiet audience in place, he shuffles across and waits on the other side for the ranger to open this gate which she does. Next, she closes them both and people resume their own walks.

       Two separate worlds. One understanding.      

Writing Prompts:  1. Write about the best part a trip you took.   It can be visiting a neighboring town, a trip to the park, or an overnight camping trip.  What was that special moment for you?

2.  Write about a moment that was special between you and another person.  It could be you and a good friend, you and an animal, or you and a relative.  What made it wonderful?

http://www.soundboard.com/sb/Penguin_Sounds_audio.aspx     Penguin Sounds

Does your writing put you to sleep? Do you need action in a scene? How CAN you create action?

1. Use action verbs. Cut out the passive ones, the “ed” endings and make it happen NOW!

2. Keep your pacing fast by using short sentences.

3. Remember specific sensory description. Make the readers feel they are IN the scene. (But cut any unnecessary words.)

4. Dialogue – Get your characters talking if they have something meaningful to say.

However, even with action, you can’t have the break-neck speed go on too long. You will need to slow down the moment. How do you do THAT?

1. Character THINKS. Internalizes. FEELS.
2. Character’s PHYSICAL REACTIONS.

Remember to read the scenes you write out loud. This will help you with your action scenes and slowing-down-the-moment.

Exercise: In the project you are working on now, write an action scene followed by a reflective slow-down-the-moment scene.

From Elizabeth Enright’s Thimble Summer:

Garnet turned and ran across the hot fields. The oat stubble stood up like little lances and hurt her bare feet and grasshoppers popped and scattered like sparks from a fire. Tears filled her eyes and made the meadow surge and swim before her in a golden flood.

From Jack D. Ferraiolo’s The Big Splash: A memory I forgot I had popped into my head. I remembered trooping into the cafeteria/auditorium/gym in the middle of the day, glad for any break in the daily routine. I remembered how the room had a wierd, musty smell, like old clothes and paste. I remembered how cold and uncomfortable those metal folding chairs were. They had to be. The heat was cranked up to 85 degrees. If the chairs had been comfortable, I’d still be asleep there.

From Willa Cather’s My Antonia: As I looked about me I felt that the grass was the country, as the water is the sea. The red of the grass made all the great prairie the color of wine-stains, or of certain seaweeds when they are first washed up. And there was so much motion in it; the whole country seemed, somehow, to be running.

Writing Exercise: Choose an example from above. Using your own characters and setting, use their example to craft your setting. For instance, in Thimble Summer, the character does an action with the setting. Next comes a description with active verbs and similies. Next, the character REacts. Finally, the setting itself creates an action.

Listen to music today. Close your eyes as you hear the sounds. What images flash through your mind? Free-write immediately about those images. What senses does the music inspire?

Change types of music. If you were listening to rap, now try classical. If you heard classical, meditate to hymns, country, rock and roll, or jazz. With each selection, continue writing about the scenes you see.

Next, read over your writing. Which piece do you like best? Feel passionately about? Use this to become the setting, character or jump-off-point of your next creative poem, story, or essay.

Yesterday, my cousin from Wisconsin and I drove to a lovely winery and had lunch outside. Lush greenery gave us a sense of peace. We relaxed, and when the food came, we really took time to enjoy each and every bite. It isn’t every day we do this, is it?

As you eat today, sit with a notebook and pen by your side. Describe every morsel you eat. What does the sensation feel like on your tongue? List words describing the taste, texture, and smell.

What does your body feel like after you’ve taken the bite? Note your surroundings and your mood.

On her trip to California, Mary has kept a travel journal, noting the details she is experiencing, bits of dialogue she hears, and her impressions of everything. What a treasure this will be a long time from now, when her memories fade. What a gift it will be if she decides to write an essay or a piece of fiction or a poem about this later.

Have you ever used a journal or a note to create a creative piece? Try it now.