Do you like reading funny stuff?  Most people do.  Humor sells because we like to be taken away from our problems and be entertained!  

How does it work?  When you laugh at something that happens to you, write it down.  Try and figure out why you laughed.  What tickles your funny bone the most often?  Is it physical humor when someone gets hit with a pie or trips on a banana peel?  Or is it more subtle than that?  When someone says one thing and does the exact opposite?

Watch these funny animal clips.  Which ones are the most humorous to you?  Why?  

Then begin a humor story, poem or personal narrative (essay about something true that really happened to you).  Slow down the moment with details to make us feel like we’re really there.  When you’re finished, read it aloud.  Can you make it MORE funny?  Sometimes it’s all about the timing.  You have to hear the difference by reading it out loud.  It may mean cutting some details or adding others.  Have fun writing funny!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw0FU733zzg&feature=related

Can you believe it’s the end of the year already?  The holidays have wooshed by and New Year’s Eve is days away.   (Do YOU ever make up words like I do?  Wooshed is only one of many of my typical words.  Maybe I should create a dictionary?)

What are your best memories of the past year?  What have been the incredible books you’ve read?  The memorable movies you’ve seen?  The most delicious meals you’ve eaten?  An interesting person you’ve met?  An animal that made an impression upon  you? A funny moment that may have made you smile?  A touching scene that brought you a sigh?

Writing Prompt: 

1.  Write for ten or twenty minutes quickly about one or any or all of the above.   Next, review what has popped into your head.  Now take time and choose the most vivid scene or anecdote of the year to recreate.  Use your emotions and senses to write a story, essay or poem. 

2.  Share your writing with a friend.  Share your other thoughts and ideas of the past year with your friend or a group of people.  Other writing projects may occur to you as words fly by.

On Friday, a friend took me to lunch and out shopping in Berkeley for a belated birthday outing.  It all felt so scrumptious . . . sneaking off during the week to play.  Abandoning our work, our chores and our to-do-lists, we got a chance to talk about the minutiae of our daily lives, our art, our dogs, and solve the problems of the world.  Well, maybe not quite all of that, but it did seem like anything was possible on that glorious day of freedom. 

Our lunch at Bette’s Diner, a crowded little enclave filled with scents of corned beef,  pancakes and good coffee,  was eclipsed by their bakery next door.  I brought home a piece of the best lemon cake my husband and I have ever eaten and a brownie to swoon over.   What a lovely way to celebrate my birthday. 

Some people my age don’t care for birthdays, as they see it a sign of getting older and getting farther away from youth.  Perhaps closer to death?  I enjoy this little ritual, maybe because I love rituals.  And maybe because I love cake!

Much later that evening, I logged on to my e-mail to discover a note from my friend. When she entered her house after taking me home, she found her eight-year-old beloved furry dog, Yogi, nearly comatose.  Later at the vet’s, the diagnosis was grim.  A cancerous tumor pressed on his spleen.  Yogi in shock, was unable to make eye contact with her.   He was completely out of it. 

“I couldn’t even say goodbye,” she said.   “It happened so fast.”

Yes, Yogi passed away that night. 

So we will enjoy the rituals of our life.  And we will honor the passing of one life to the next with loving rituals as well.

Writing Prompts:

1.  Write a tribute to someone you have lost.

2.  Write about how you value a person now in  your life and give it to them.

3.  Create a piece of art work to help your grief over any loss you may have.

4.  Journal your feelings if you have lost someone close to you.  The holidays can be a difficult time and this may help.

You know the times when people say the darndest things to you and you want to reply but you:   1.  are shocked out of your socks 2.  struggling with yourself so you won’t be  incarcerated  for murder 3. couldn’t remember your middle name right now much less a witty retort.

Writing Prompt:

1. Here’s your chance to make it right.  Go back into your memory.  Replay that scene on paper.  Write exactly what happened.  Next, REWRITE the scene and say what you could have said to put them in their place. 

2.  Rewrite the scene and instead, write what you could say to create peace between the two of you.  How can you strengthen the bond instead of destroying it?  Be the better person.

3.  Write a fictional scene with two characters who are in conflict over something humorous. 

4.  Write a fictional scene with two characters who are in conflict over something serious but they come to a mutual understanding.

5. Read the original replies below.  Can you come up with any of your own?

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:   She said, “If you were my husband I’d give you poison.” He said, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.” “That depends, Sir,” said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”

“He had delusions of adequacy.”  Walter Kerr

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”  William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”  Moses Hadas

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”  Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” Oscar Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have one.” George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second…. if there is one.”  Winston Churchill, in response.

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” John Bright

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”  Irvin S. Cobb

“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.”  Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”  Paul Keating

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” Charles, Count Talleyrand

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”  Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” Mae West

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” Oscar Wilde

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts . . . for support rather than illumination.”  Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” Billy Wilder

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” Groucho Marx

“Memory is the diary we carry around with us.” –Oscar Wilde

What’s your earliest memory?

Mine is when I was two years old.  I had bone surgery to correct a concave chest, so it wouldn’t grow too close to my heart.  Afterwards, I wore a cast from my neck to my hips.  I don’t recall anything of this hospital experience other than one moment in time when I tried to get a drink at a hospital water fountain.  (or in what we Southern Wisconsinites call a bubbler)

On my tippy-toes I perched, my mother pressing the handle of the fountain for me. My mouth open, the water streamed in front of me, just out of reach.  My tears flowed as fast as the water.  Mom picked me up, but the bulky cast was in the way.  No matter what angle we tried, it seemed I couldn’t get my mouth any closer.

I’m sure Mom found a cup so I could quench my thirst, but both she and I knew that it wasn’t the point of a bubbler.  Half the fun of bubblers are the uniqueness of the experience. 

And so we approach our writing in unusual ways to provide a unique experience for the reader – – and the writer.  If at first it doesn’t work one way, we try another.  Another voice, another place to begin, another conflict or character quirk. We may get frustrated along our journey, but at some point, we’ll either find the ah-ha moment and rejoice, or move on to another project.  Sometimes it just takes time to wait and find the place within yourself to discover that ah-ha moment.

May you always find the ah-ha moment in your work and if you don’t, at least learn something in each and every journey.  I think the reason I remember the bubbler incident is I learned a lesson that day.   Sometimes you don’t get what you want right away.  After the cast came off, there was the joy of many bubblers for me. 

May you have a joyful bubbler kind of writing day. 

            Personal Narrative Writing Prompt

            The title of your piece is The First Time I . . .

How will you finish it?  Some possibilities could be . . .

 . . . rode a bike . . . was kissed . . . fell in love . . . told a lie . . . found out a secret . . . had to keep a secret . . . told a secret . . . got punished . . . did a random act of kindness . . . got seriously injured or hurt . . . stayed in the hospital . . . traveled out of state . . . traveled out of the country . . . felt guilty . . . committed a crime . . . failed a test . . . got hurt in a friendship . . . hurt a friend .  . . performed in front of an audience . . . got published . . .saved a life . . . bonded with an animal . . . got a pet . . . found a passion . . . learned how to _______ . . . faced death . . . went camping . . . saw a ghost . . . saw an angel . . .  remembered a wonderful dream . . . had a nightmare . . . ran for office . . . planted a garden . . .

A few years ago I spoke to a class at Walnut Creek Intermediate about the California Writers Club Young Writers Contest.  When I mentioned the essay category, the kids’ eyes glazed over and perhaps one or two of them snored.   Then I read one of the essays that won the year before and they jolted awake.  It was about a boy making a home run. 

“Why, that’s not an essay.  That’s a personal narrative,” said a student. 

“Is that what you call it?” I asked. 

For the past several years, our essay judges had mentioned they were receiving so many academic “teacher-type” assignments, they couldn’t figure out why.  Now I got it!  We were calling it by the wrong name for kids.  Although in the publishing world, adults knew what an essay could be, students were unaware of this. 

So send us your personal experiences in this category.   Use first person.  (“I”)  Brainstorm your memories that charge you with passion, emotion, excitement, or joy.  It doesn’t have to be a huge experience.  Sometimes the small moments in life are the most meaningful. 

Need ideas?  Flip through your scrapbook, diary/journal, or photo album.  Keep an idea book for every day thoughts and anecdotes that may happen to you.  With our busy lives these days, we forget about those times that pass us by but may be significant. 

Once I confessed our error to the students at Walnut Creek Intermediate, the students relaxed.  No teachery essays!  YAY!  They could write about anything they wanted to write about!  They could write about themselves!  The pressure was off!

So go to it.  And we can’t wait to read them! 

Questions?  Ask right here.

It starts off like any other day.  Any writer luncheon.  Fascinating people surround me at our table.  Lynn is teaching a new class in writing.  Hank shares his journey of marketing his futuristic novel. Peter asks me how I got my first book published.        

As I reach for the water pitcher, the friend at my left chokes.  

            “Are you all right?” I ask.

            She shakes her head no. 

            No? 

            That’s not the right answer.  It’s not the expected answer. 

            “Do you need the Heimlich?”

            She shakes her head yes.  Her eyes shine with fear.   

            Our tablemates freeze. 

            Everything moves in slow motion.

Yet everything happens quickly.  How can this be? 

I stand.

Reach around her — make a clasped fist. 

Push up.  Push up.  Push up.

            Nothing. 

            She coughs.  Sputters. 

            She does not gasp.

            No air.   

            How much time does she have?

            I fail.

            I yell into the room.  “HEIMLICH?  HEIMLICH?”

            For a moment, the room is frozen.  

            Now she stands behind my chair.  She leans over.  Pushes against it.  

            Coughing.  Sputtering. 

            Eyes watering. 

            Panic. 

            “HEIMLICH!”  I gesture.  Come!  

            Now people spring into action.  Others try.  Others fail. 

            The restaurant manager comes into the room. 

Terror.

            How long can she last?

            “An ambulance is coming,” I hear someone say.

            Not fast enough.        

            I look at Hank across the table.  My eyes widen.

            Do I gesture? Or does he read my eyes?

            He jumps up. 

            I know I cross myself. 

            Hail Mary Full of Grace.  Hail Mary Full of Grace.  Hail Mary . . .

            And then she breathes. 

            It’s another day. 

Writing Prompt:   1.  When have you had a scary experience  in your life?  What happened?  How did you feel?  You can make a small anecdote like I wrote above into a full length personal narrative by slowing-down-the-moment with more sensory details, dialogue, feelings and thoughts. 

2.  Turn an exciting experience that you have had into a short story or poem or piece of art.  By turning a potential traumatic or negative experience into a piece of writing or art, you can “own” the memory or moment in time and come to grips with it more easily.

3.  How will you move on?  What have you learned from this experience?  How has it made you stronger?  Choose a genre or art form to show this.

        Besides announcing writing contests and workshops, a reader reminded me that I said I’d write more about our trip to Australia.  Remember to use your own life  in writing too, if you are a student, a teacher, or a writer. 

        The most amazing experience on our trip that we had was on Phillip Island. Located Southeast of Melbourne and North of Tasmania, it’s the home of the famous Penguin Parade, where at dusk, hundreds upon hundreds of little penguins come out from the sea to bed down for the night in their on-land burrows.

       People sit on bleachers on the beach while we wait for the small penguins to arrive. We’ve been told that penguins are creatures of habit. The first time they make their way from the water to their new burrow will be the path they use every single time from then on.

       When the penguins come up from the sea, a few seagulls swoop down and scare them off. They chase them back to the water, but more penguins arrive, enough to make a mass statement against the gulls!

       As the penguins waddle up the beach, several in a group, more and more clusters swim up from the sea. When they reach the bleachers, we observers quietly rise and walk behind our seats to a lighted board walk. There, we watch the penguins closely while they toddle up hill on the sand.

       We’ve been prepped ahead of time by a ranger. Everyone whispers; no photography at all is taken to disturb their natural habitat. All we hear are the ocean waves and now the penguins talking with each other.

       So how do penguins talk anyway? Chirp. Squeak. Mews. Donald-Duck-Quacks. A mixture of all of these sounds. And as they settle into their burrows, they can be heard in the hills. Dots of their white vests show throughout the blackness.

       Penguin sounds. Ocean waves. Only whispers among us.

       Darkness everywhere, with only lights from the fence illuminating the Penguin Parade, the experience feels spiritual. There is something special in the air and we all sense it.

       As I look on in awe, I wonder if we sent warring beings here, would the world have a better chance for peace?

       When it’s time for Bob and me to get back up the hill to meet the tour group at our van, we hike briskly in the same direction as the penguins on the board walk. They keep up to us, stride for wobble.

       At the top of the hill, the ranger announces a penguin must cross over to the other side of the blacktop to his home. She moves us behind a painted white line and she lifts up a gate for the penguin who is patiently waiting his turn to cross.

       With his quiet audience in place, he shuffles across and waits on the other side for the ranger to open this gate which she does. Next, she closes them both and people resume their own walks.

       Two separate worlds. One understanding.      

Writing Prompts:  1. Write about the best part a trip you took.   It can be visiting a neighboring town, a trip to the park, or an overnight camping trip.  What was that special moment for you?

2.  Write about a moment that was special between you and another person.  It could be you and a good friend, you and an animal, or you and a relative.  What made it wonderful?

http://www.soundboard.com/sb/Penguin_Sounds_audio.aspx     Penguin Sounds

California Writers Club, Mt. Diablo Branch
http://mtdiablowriters.org/
Announces a FREE opportunity for students, educators and readers to meet published authors – – – and students, how to win hundreds of dollars by writing!
Saturday, November 28, 11 a.m. – 6 p.m.
Pleasant Hill Barnes and Noble
522 Contra Costa Blvd. (Phone: 925-609-7060)

*Students! Discover how YOU can win $$$ by writing poems, short stories, or personal narratives!

*Learn how you can take a FREE writing workshop taught by authors Sarah Wilson and Elizabeth Koehler-Pentacoff.

*Find out answers to questions about writing, publishing, agents, and how YOU can become a published writer!

*Uncover published authors’ writing secrets!

* Receive guidelines for the Young Writers Contest for middle school students and sign-up forms for FREE workshops.

*Get autographs from authors!

Schedule: 11 a.m. – Noon
Nannette Rundell Carroll – Communication and Business Author
Margaret Grace – Author of Mystery Series
Noon – 1 p.m.
Nannette Rundell Carroll – Communication and Business Author
Barbara Bentley – Memoir Author
1 p.m. – 3 p.m.
Ellen Leroe – Young Adult Author
Elizabeth Koehler-Pentacoff – Picture Book Author
4 p.m. – 5 p.m.
Barbara Bentley – Memoir Author
Lynn Goodwin – Journaling Author
5 p.m. – 6 p.m.
Margaret Grace – Author of Mystery Series
Lynn Goodwin – Journaling Author